Roti-kapda-aur makaan-they might continue to be the basic needs of the human race.
For the other species titled ‘Indian MBA’-s,the most basic need is the two worded Latin term :Curriculum Vitae.Also referred to as Resume,put simply it is “a document that contains a summary or listing of relevant job experience and education.” But a literal translation of the Latin term is a lot more gracious : ‘course of life’. That surely sounds infinitely more serious and deep-and kinda urges you to take the CV more seriously.
Essentially the CV of the Indian MBA(or wannabe) can be divided into the following broad parts:
1.Education Section: Ignoring the amazingly early reach of education in India(a bit of reverse calculation on any average CV of an India boy/girl will reveal he/she started studying around the age of 6 months-1 year on an average),this section makes for very cute reading. The MBA wannabe mentions his exploits as the Head boy/girl in his own territory of a school inhabited by a little more than 40 nubile half pant clad batch mates. These descriptions are littered in between with the constellation of sit and draw/quiz/debate/essay writing/sports contests which every locality,school and apartment in India holds every sunday to cater to the CV requirements of its kids in future.
2.Undergraduate Section : This is a section that is much like a mini skirt.It hides more than what it reveals.The suspicious looking figures titled GPAs(percentages) never ever are coupled by the fact as to how many where there in the batch of the candidate.Also each of the 1000 odd boards and universities in the nation use their own methods and terminologies to calculate the GPAs of the students-so much for standardization.The weekend event section replicates here too-this time the locality of reference changing to College ‘fests’-which are essentially dotted with events consisting of only the judge and the handful of participants with zero audience. The audience conserve their energy for the psychedelic nites where the star attractions (Pakistani music groups/local small rock groups or some upcoming reality show singer) steal the show and a hell loadsa moolah.More on the fest story some time later.
3.Work Experience Section : In the new millennium,the ‘work’ experience of an Indian youth can be divided into 2 broad categories:IT and non IT.The latter essentially falls in the domain of manufacturing,financial services,marketing and sales jobs or in the rare case in education.These actually entail holding responsible positions in organizations after having worked up the corporate ladder by understanding the nuances of the job in hand.The (in)glorious job of an IT employee in an unfairly majority of the cases involves maintainence jobs of development work done abroad.A minuscule portion of the candidates are true blue developers or end up holding substantial leadership roles.Apart from these few who can claim to possess the virtues of having quality work experience,the others can be whitewashed as mere overpaid coolies in the cyber world.
4.Extra curricular activities : While some part of it was hinted at in the education section,this is one section that must be there in every CV where the candidate essentially tries to prove,just like all other candidates,that he/she is unique and is definitely not a nerd/geek.The bullet points begin with heavy duty verbs like bamboozled/overthrew/dethroned/secured/achieved till the interviewer pleads for no more.Again the context and the number of participants of the competitions are suspiciously missing-when those details are delved into,which any seasoned interviewer does,the story changes altogether.
5.Interests and other activities :Interestingly this last section is the one which tells the interviewer/panelist the most about the candidate.Reason being simple,this is the section where there is no certificate to prove your claim-you gotta write in an indirect sense only and only about yourself.And this is where the difference is created.One can hide the true picture of a contest in a fest,but one cannot fake his own interests and hobbies just by writing about it.Funny thing is,this is a part which is often misquoted as ‘additional information’ or something like a footnote-nothing could be further from the truth.This is the section which tells the most about a candidate-and should be treated with equal importance like the previous sections.
A bunch of CVs of Indian MBAs or wannabes is fur more interesting to read than the day’s newspaper,ah well,a hapless HR executive sent to recruit fresh MBAs from an insti might disagree to it…